Confess to the Dead for the Living Would Answer
by Zerabell Blackborn
Summary: Nothing like a heart-to-heart in a cemetery. Willow, Xander, and a head-stone. Sequel to 'Her Letter'. Post 2.22; AU. OneShot; complete.


**Disclaimer: I do not own 'Buffy: the Vampire Slayer' series, world, or characters.**

Sequel to _Tadpole_ and _Her Letter._

Series Summery: Angelus is gone and Acathla sleeps once more, but those who are left on the Hellmouth struggle to survive with the abandonment of their friend the Slayer. AU. Post 2.22 _"The Becoming: Part Two"._

* * *

"So here we are, the Musketeers reunited."

"We should have come sooner."

"We couldn't."

"No. We should have. It was just- the pain was too much, we both pushed him away."

"Yeah."

"We, we abandoned him."

"Oh Wills, we didn't. _You_ didn't."

"Didn't I? Didn't we? It was all one-for-all and secret clubs and inside jokes, the three of us. And then it was three again, only it wasn't. Not really. Because it changed, we changed, and not even memory joined us as we carried on."

"We went on because we had to."

"No."

"Yes Willow, we had to. _I_ had to."

"Why?"

"Because the monsters weren't going away if we closed our eyes."

"They… never do, do they?"

"No."

* * *

"I never…"

"Willow?"

"Forgave her. Not completely. Her, or- or Angel. It was just, it was all black and white, good and evil, human or vampire and no mixture between. And I just, I don't think I can forgive them for disproving a rule she had us live by."

"More Giles than Buffy, really."

"Maybe. Yes. He didn't deserve it, he didn't, and I just- I hated her for coming, those first few weeks. For not saving him. Hated myself for, well, and Giles for being so oblivious."

"His general 'it's not your fight' and 'you have no place in the scared duty of the Slayer' thing."

"Yes. Exactly. He was wrong. So very, very… and I was just so angry that it never truly went away."

"See Wills, you didn't forget him."

"Jesse, Jesse. It's wrong, that I blamed her. That I still kinda do. And I just. Does that make me a bad person Xander, does it make me-"

"-No. No Willow, don't ever believe that."

"But what if I failed because of that hatred, that blame? What if I had been able to act quicker, to cast quicker, and save Angel. Save Buffy from having to, to kill her- to destroy a monster wearing her lover's body. I failed, Xander, I failed. Was it because… I wanted to?"

"_Willow_."

"Intent, Xander. That curse was based on intent. And it worked. I know it did. From what I felt, from what Oz and Cordelia said happened. And I can't help wondering what I did. What if it lashed out, that anger, what if I'm the reason Buffy couldn't stay. And Angel. If he had just been upfront about everything, about his soul, could we have saved him."

"Oh Willow."

"Could we still… have Jesse?"

"Cry Willow, it's okay."

* * *

"Willow?"

"Yes?"

"I- I don't think I can ever forgive her for leaving us. For just running away. For Giles leaving us to find her. We're here. Abandoned. On the Hellmouth."

"She left word that Angelus, _Angelus_ oh gods, that she had taken care of him. And with the power vacuum…"

"On. The. Hellmouth, Willow."

"Yeah. Yes."

"I'm not, not strong enough Willow. I'm just not. If something were to happen to you-"

"It wouldn't be your fault."

"But it would. It would because you're family. Because I promised, we promised, to take care of our Wills. Jesse's dead Willow, but I'm not and you're the only family I have left, and look at you. You can't walk, Willow. You can't run from danger. You can't fight."

"Xander."

"No Willow. You have the right to be angry, but so do I."

"Yes. You're right of course."

"I love you Willow."

"I, I love you too Xander."

"You're family Will. My family. If anything were to happen to you, or me, I want you to remember that. Jesse, he. The last thing I sad to him was that he was an idiot. For Cordeila. For you. You do know that he loved you, right?"

"I, yes. Yes I know. I loved him too. We were, are, family. The kind that matters, that counts."

"Yeah."

* * *

"We… we should do this more often, don't you think? A new tradition, like Saturday morning cartoons with brownies and ketchup and cheerios."

"Yeah, we should. We really should."

"Are we still the Musketeers?"

"Till the last one's in the ground."

"One for all, Xander."

"All in memory of Jesse."

"In memory, and hope. For the future. For the… difference we can make. I'd like that."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Oh here, I brought something too."

"Great minds."

"Do you believe in reincarnation? I think I might, with all that I've been reading, with all we've seen. I think he'd come back as a bird."

"Not a preditor. Wasn't much… of a hunter."

"Yeah he was too, too sentimental."

"Well, I think we've watered the grass long enough."

"Hm. Oh look, Oz's here."

"Huh, Cordelia's with him. Well c'mon Wills, it really is time to go."

"Yes."

* * *

Memorabilia had been scattered about the cultured plots, flowers in various stats of decay and ribbons worn from weather. Odds and ends that held no special meaning on their own, though most had been chosen with care. The newest of the items to grace the rows of M's were no exception. A Lego figurine, dressed in an orange flight suit with a little plastic helmet on its head, stood next to a small metal plane. Shinny and strong, they decorated the headstone marking empty ground.

Heat slowly bled away from these two objects as a tall boy pushed a young woman in a wheelchair up a lazy hill. Neither looked back. Not this time, nor anytime they visited when the sun shone high. But just before departing, skin would trace cold lettering, and it was in this way they said good buy.

RIP

Jesse A. McNally

July 27, 1981 – March 10, 1997

_our beloved son_

_may you spend endless days soaring_

_high above us_

* * *

_Written for 365drabbles and fanfic_bakeoff at LiveJournal (secret ingredient: token; $ bonus ingredient: conversation-only). Part of the Diamond Seas and Lands of Smoke series. Five drabbles = OneShot; complete._


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